{"id":10180,"date":"2026-01-17T12:41:00","date_gmt":"2026-01-17T12:41:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mytalkindia.com\/?p=10180"},"modified":"2026-02-21T19:42:39","modified_gmt":"2026-02-21T19:42:39","slug":"parents-always-compare-me-to-my-brother","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mytalkindia.com\/hi\/parents-always-compare-me-to-my-brother\/","title":{"rendered":"My parents always compare me to my brother who is the \u2018perfect child\u2019, I\u2019ve started hating them for this comparison."},"content":{"rendered":"<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"10180\" class=\"elementor elementor-10180\" data-elementor-post-type=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-59eba7a9 e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"59eba7a9\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-77bdf106 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"77bdf106\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n<p><strong>Question :<\/strong> Parents always compare me to my brother? My brother is 3 years older than I am, and he is the \u201cperfect child\u201d. Always a class topper in school and college, he\u2019s also the star of his school football team, and an accomplished guitarist as well. He is the apple of my parents\u2019 eyes. On the other hand, I was never good in studies, I don\u2019t know what I want to become, and I suck at sports too. I try, but my heart isn\u2019t in it. Constant comparison with him is making me feel depressed and anxious, and I\u2019ve started hating him and resenting my parents. I don\u2019t want it to be like this, what do I do? MyTalker , 14-year-old<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dear MyTalker,<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Thank you for writing in \u2013 so many people wait till they\u2019re much older to face this, and the sooner we address it, the easier life will get from here! It sounds like you\u2019ve got a classic case of doubting your unique worth! Feeling compared to anyone can happen at any point in your life \u2013 this happens to be yours. And I know how especially it sucks to be compared to your sibling \u2013 it can make you feel inadequate and inferior. Here are some active steps you can take:<\/p>\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Focus on your skills, big and small \u2013 the more you develop your own likes and dislikes, the more confident you will feel which will mean that comparing yourself to your brother will fizzle out \u2013 it will be like comparing apples with oranges.<\/li>\n<li>What are some of the things you already do when you feel anxious? Do more of these things and get better at them!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n<p>Having an older brother, who seems to be more conventionally \u201csuccessful\u201d than you can be really tough because it\u2019s much easier for others \u2013 and yourself \u2013 to make direct obvious comparisons. Parents don\u2019t realize when they are making comparisons that can be really hurtful, and even though they know their kids are separate individuals, they sometimes unconsciously give out the message that they want them to be successful in the same way.<\/p>\n<p>You say that you don\u2019t want to feel resentful or hateful to your family \u2013 and recognizing that means you\u2019ve got a pretty good sense of self-awareness. So let\u2019s explore this awareness further. How have you dealt with these comparisons so far? Maybe you\u2019ve tuned them out, or you\u2019ve focused on what you\u2019re good at. Sometimes what we are good at isn\u2019t an obvious skill, like sports or music or studies. It could be something more subtle, like having a sense of humour, or being able to listen to friends when they need a friend to trust. It could be being able to think critically about art or literature and feel engaged in social or political events. What are some of your skills that you pull out when you feel anxious or resentful?<\/p>\n<p>Even though it feels hard right now focus on yourself \u2013 on you being you. There is no other you! And the better you get at being you, the less compared you\u2019ll feel because you would have built up your confidence in yourself. You could start this process by talking to your parents once \u2013 tell them how you feel when they compare you (even unintentionally) with your brother, and explain to them that you have your own personality, needs and skills. Then \u2013 go out, explore what\u2019s meaningful to you, and own it. Remember \u2013 apples and oranges are both delicious in their own ways!I hope that this answer has at least helped you begin to process some of the struggle you\u2019re experiencing.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Hope this helps, if you have any other query do connect <a href=\"https:\/\/mytalkindia.com\/hi\/contact-us\/\">online for chat<\/a> between 8 am &#8211; 8 pm.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Regards,<\/p>\n<p>Expert MyTalk India<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Question : Parents always compare me to my brother? My brother is 3 years older than I am, and he is the \u201cperfect child\u201d. Always a class topper in school and college, he\u2019s also the star of his school football team, and an accomplished guitarist as well. He is the apple of my parents\u2019 eyes. [&hellip;]<\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[132],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10180","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-relationship-family-issues-expert-advice"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mytalkindia.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10180","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mytalkindia.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mytalkindia.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mytalkindia.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mytalkindia.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10180"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/mytalkindia.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10180\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13975,"href":"https:\/\/mytalkindia.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10180\/revisions\/13975"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mytalkindia.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10180"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mytalkindia.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10180"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mytalkindia.com\/hi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10180"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}